love letters, II

I walked all the way to West Hollywood to meet you under the awning of the cafe where you said "they have the best sushi,"
but you never showed up.

I would like to know why, because
when I see you my lips tingle my fingertips tingle my heart wants.

There was a boy there with a blue cap and from the back it could've been you.
Your doppelgänger.
I almost shouted out, but right then he turned,
and saw me with my mouth open wide, staring in his direction.
He gave me a polite smile and I looked away, embarrassed.

I imagine smiling back. I imagine him walking towards me. Striking up a conversation. Exchanging phone numbers.
I imagine you never calling again, and crying alone in my shitty apartment, and my phone vibrates, and it's this other boy this other you.

I imagine making plans to meet him at the same cafe, only this time I'm the one
who doesn't show up.

He sees a girl with two long, dark braids, from behind. He opens his mouth,
as if to shout -
but just in time, she turns, and he realizes it is not me.